DKMders Mission - episode 9

The mission of “die Doomkrusmannders Mädchen” – episode IX:

What the F*ck!

~big bang at the door – it is smashed up into pieces~
SASHA: What the hell is that?
PITCH: Hey! We’re busy here, so don’t disturb!
JACKIE: But it’s…it’s…
TINE: Oh my…is it?
PAUL (amused): Yes! Morrre fun again!
MIHAEL and TILL: Hm?
SCHNEI: Er…what’s up now?
RICHARD (amazed): Oooh! My sweetheart!
THE DKMders MÄDCHEN: o_O?
~walking through the dust left by the smashed up door, here come 2 bodyguards, and… Caron~
CARON: I come to take him back.
SASHA: No way!
~Sasha rushes to stand in front of Schneider, arms spread in order to let nobody touch her man~
PITCH (cat-like attitude): You’ll have to kill us first – well, Sasha first, then me!
PAUL: o_O? (at Pitch)
PITCH: Sasha is older and stronger than me, you see.
PAUL: Ah, okay!
MIHAEL: Hm! Hm! I don’t think she’s there for Schneider…
~Tine and Jackie frown, both of them taking one of Richie’s arms~
TINE: What?
CARON: He’s mine!
JACKIE: No way!
SCHNEIDER: Are zey gonna fight?
PAUL: Yes! Catch fight in mud!
TILL: In dust, you should say.
PAUL: Oh, yeah… well, mud or dust, never mind! Girls fighting!! YEAH!
~Jackie stands up to face Caron, angry look on her face~
JACKIE: Tine, forget your Kill Bill suit and show her how tall you are!
~Tine, who was already reaching at her yellow suit, gives up the idea and stands in front of Caron~
SASHA: Show her, Tine, show her!
~Pitch sits next to Paul and starts eating popcorn with him; Mihael is totally confused and doesn’t know what to do; Till pats her shoulder reassuringly and gives her some chocolate – Till knows how to get Mihael in his pocket; Jackie and Tine are ready to fight when suddenly…~
CARON: Charlie, Bob – catch them!
~The two bulldogs who look like bodyguards rush to Jackie and Tine and knock them off~
SASHA (outraged): HOW DARE YOU!?
~Sasha runs towards Caron, who is already grabbing Richard; the two bulldogs stands in front of her and take each of her arms~
SASHA: Let me go!!!
CARON: You lost!
SASHA: You b*****!
CARON: Sorry, Mädchen, but what my man wants, he always gets!
RICHARD: You’ve got my strawberry cake? Because they forgot, you know.
CARON: Yes, wrapped in wonderful blue paper, as you wished.
RICHARD: Great!
SASHA: You will regret it!
~Caron and Richard disappear; Sasha still struggles with the two bulldogs, who actually don’t know what they are supposed to do now~
SASHA: Let me go you bastards!!!
~Pitch suddenly realises that she should help; she looks at Mihael, still in contemplation of Till’s wonderful blue eyes; Pitch sighs~
SASHA: Hey!! Won’t you help me!?
MIHAEL: Hm?
PAUL: Why? It’s funny!
~Schneider shakes his head and tries to punch into one of the bulldog men’s belly – Charlie knocks him off immediately~
PAUL: Ach Scheiße!
PITCH: Oh my! Go ahead Paul!
PAUL: What? No way!! I don’t want to die!
PITCH: Pfff! You’re a coward!
~Pitch goes to ask Till to help Sasha; Till looks at her, sceptical~
PITCH: Mihael! Tell him to help Sasha!
MIHAEL: Hm? Oh yeah, sorry – sorry; I was…
SASHA: Yeah, yeah, never mind! Let Till kill the two stupid guys before we can run after Caron!
~Mihael whispers something at Till, who nods and stands up – stretches up his huge, wonderful body in a yawn, then takes his time to walk towards the two bodyguards. Charlie seems to look a bit confused; Bob doesn’t care: he leaves Sasha to Charlie, and stands in front of Till with his head high. Till knocks him off in one second. Charlie is terrified, lets Sasha go and runs away~
SASHA: Thank you Till!
TILL: Kein einfach.
SASHA: What have you thought, you two? (at Pitch and Mihael) We’re a team! And what do you do??? You sit and look at the show!
PAUL: A bit disappointing show actually!
SASHA: You shut up!
PAUL: o_O
SASHA: What the fuck were you waiting for???
MIHAEL: Sorry, I was day-dreaming, and well…
PITCH: I really thought you could fight them, you know.
SASHA: But they knocked off Tine and Jackie, don’t you see???
PITCH: Well, yeah, that’s why I had some slight little doubts…
~Jackie wakes up~
JACKIE: Where is she? I’m gonna kill her! Where is she! Ouch!
~Jackie just stood up but realises that her head still hurt; then Tine wakes up~
TINE: Ugh! Fuck it!
JACKIE: She stole our Richie?
SASHA: Yeah!
JACKIE: Oh shit! Let’s go! Let’s fight her!
SASHA: And together this time! (she looks angrily at Mihael and Pitch) But first, let’s organise!
JACKIE: Yeah! Mihael, you know where she lives!
MIHAEL: Er…well…er…
JACKIE: And gimme your flame-thrower!
MIHAEL: Er…you sure? You know, it can kill!
TINE: Where is Richard?
JACKIE: (at Tine) Caron kidnapped him! (at Mihael) I KNOW it can kill!
PITCH: You didn’t mind when you used it against Maria!
MIHAEL: Yeah, right – but Maria was such a bitch!
~Till nods in approval~
SASHA: Wait! We must organise first and…and…something else.
~Sasha is thinking hard~
TINE: And Schneider? What happened to him?
~everybody turns to face Schneider’s body~
MIHAEL: (wondering) Oh, they killed him?
JACKIE: What?
SASHA (bending): Doom, wake up right now!
PAUL: He’s dead? Good. (winking at Till) Now we’rre only two for 5 girls, héhé!
~Till winks back with a naughty smile~
SASHA: No way!
~Sasha goes to the bathroom. Everybody are looking at each other in wonder. Sasha comes back with a huge bowl of freezing water and pours it onto Schnei’s face. Schnei immediately wakes up~
TILL: A slap in ze face would have been as efficient.
SASHA: I will NEVER hurt my Doom!
TILL: (afraid) Okay.
SASHA: Now we can organise our revenge!