DKMders mission - episode 11

The mission of “die Doomkrusmannders Mädchen” – episode XI:

I quit!

~driving back to the hotel, Richard reluctantly followed the girls~

RICHARD: I want to drive!
THE GIRLS: NO! Last time, the firemen’s truck had an accident!
RICHARD: NOT my fault! Paul got crazy! He said: Speed up! Speed up! We gotta save a woman. And I said: You dumbass! It’s a guy we’re supposed to save! And he said…
THE GIRLS: You shut up!
~Richard kept silent for a while, fingering the buttons of the Steinmobile. He then decided to take out a mirror~
RICHARD: Why do you wanna change it. I like it like that.
JACKIE: You – can – not – keep – your – hair – like – this. Isn’t it clear?
TINE: Or at least, you should avoid the streak of hair stuck on your cheek, it’s just…ugly.
RICHARD ~mumbling~: Don’t care.
SASHA ~who is driving, stops abruptly~: Oh Scheisse!
TINE and JACKIE: What?
MIHAEL ~pointing towards the hotel entrance door~: Isn’t it…
SASHA ~alarmed~: Yes, it is.
RICHARD: FINGER!!!!!!!!!!
~Across the street, Finger stands next to a bus. Richard rushes out of the car. Finger turns around, looks at the Steinmobile then at the DKMders Mädchen, angrily, points his finger towards them and shouts~
FINGER: YOU!!!!
~the girls get out of the car, they don’t know what to do. Jackie follows Richie while the others are running away but then realise that Jackie isn’t following.~
RICHARD: Finger! You know, I love you.
JACKIE: Richard, come back!
FINGER ~taking out his cellphone, answering Richard at the same time~: Yes, I know. Get into the bus, I call the police.
~Jackie gasps; the other girls join her~
RICHARD: Oh c’mon! Let them go! You have a strawberry cake?
TILL ~pops his head out of the bus~: Yep!
~ Till lets Richard into the bus. Mihael runs across the street, in slow motion – led by love and despair, she screams “TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL DON’T LEAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!” while the other DKMders Mädchen gasp even more~
TILL: Sorrrry, Domina. I was hungry.
~Till gives a little smile, shows a roasted chicken thigh and shuts the bus door. Mihael bumps into it and slowly falls onto the ground, groaning. The other girls run after her.~
JACKIE: You alright?
MIHAEL ~holding her nose~: I haven’t ever felt so buch pain…
SASHA: Schneider!!!
SCHNEIDER ~popping his head up to look at the girls through the bus window~ Sorrry but...~showing his brow~ I’m fed up wiz being molested.
SASHA: But we didn’t do it!!! Caron did, with her stupid, fucking bastards!!
SCHNEIDER: Never mind. I just don’t wanna take any rrrrisk anymorrrre. ~crossing his arms~ I’m fragile.
~Out of the blue, Pitch finally appears while Finger is still pointing his finger to the girls~
FINGER: You’d better disappear from my view or…
PITCH: Oh damn! I quit!
THE DKMders M: WHAT???
PITCH: The bearded guy here, you see, he attacked me – knocked me off – stole our Rammsteiner away!
FINGER: I didn’t steal them…
PITCH: Oh shut up! I’m telling my story!
FINGER: o_O
PITCH: So he attacked me by surprise. I tried the catsuit trick but it didn’t work out. ~she throws the catsuit onto the ground~
MIHAEL: Baybe you should have tried the whip instead…
PITCH: Tried it too. Didn’t work out either.
~she throws the whip onto the ground too, in front of Mihael’s feet~
TINE: Oh damn! So...
PITCH: I was knocked off. When I woke up, no Rammsteiner anymore. I ran down the stairs and here is the bearded guy, and our Rammsteiner there!
~she points at Richard, Till, Schneider, joined by Flake and Ollie, who stare through the window, apprehensive.~
PITCH: And they visibly wouldn’t let us kidnap them back, so I quit.
JACKIE: But you cannot do that!
PITCH: Yes, I can.
~she gives her flamethrower back, tosses her hair back and walks away.~
FINGER: Good. ~fingering the other girls~ You should do the same!
~the girls nod vigorously, completely afraid. Finger knocks on the bus door which opens to let him in. Then the bus drives away and the DKMders Mädchen left are standing on the pavement, in front of the hotel entrance door, sad to tears. In the bus, Flake starts frowning, looks around, stares at each of the R+ guys then at Finger.~
FLAKE: Er…
FINGER: Was?
FLAKE: Wir haben jemanden vergessen, nein?

DKMders mission - episode 10

The mission of “die Doomkrusmannders Mädchen” – episode X:

New hair-cut

~after spending a long time planning their revenge, the DKMders Mädchen finally found Caron’s place, where she keeps Richard isolated from the rest of the world. They decide to let Pitch take care of the R+ guys at the hotel, while Tine, Sasha, Jackie and Mihael are getting ready to fight again~
JACKIE: ~watching Mihael trying to put a bathtub into a huge bag~ Ahem! You sure you wanna bring this?
SASHA: Mihael, this is absurd, and totally useless!
MIHAEL: Oh! It can be dangerous! That’s the way Till transforms Flake into a disco-funk disabled…
TINE: Yeah, but you forget the big bottle with the sparks.
MIHAEL: Not my fault! Wasn’t on sale in the R+Shop!!!
SASHA: So the bathtub is useless!
MIHAEL: But…but… ITDW effect is so great!!!
JACKIE: Yeah, but we gonna fight Caron now, we gotta be efficient!
TINE and SASHA: Exactly!
MIHAEL: Okay, then! But I bring my LIFAD DeLuxe Box. The dildos can be useful to knock her off!
~ the other girls sigh then say Okay. On the way to Caron’s place, they keep flamethrowers on their lap, just in case. But Sasha, of course, because she drives the Steinmobil. While going up to Caron’s apartment, they remain perfectly silent – the best terrorists ever.~
SASHA ~whispering, in front of Caron’s door~: One…. Two… THREE!!!!
~Tine and Mihael go smashing into the door with their feet; Jackie and Sasha follow and take out their flamethrowers too. But what they see leaves them so speechless that they don’t know what to do…~
RICHARD: What?
JACKIE: Dios mio.
RICHARD: What’s wrong?
TINE: Oh my God!
RICHARD: Oh damn it! WHAT?
~Richard, standing in the middle of the living room, a piece of strawberry cake in one hand, stares back at the girls, who actually stare at………his new hair cut.~
SASHA: What have you done with your hair??
RICHARD: Caron just tried a new hair style on me. It’s cool, isn’t it?
JACKIE ~alarmed~: But…but…where are your nice spikes?
RICHARD ~proud~: No spikes anymore! Nope!
TINE: Damn!
MIHAEL ~giggling~: You look like a Playmo now!
RICHARD: A playmate?
MIHAEL: No, a Playmobil!
RICHARD: Play me bill?
MIHAEL: NO!! A PLAY-MO-BIL!
RICHARD: Oh, Okay… But… [thinking hard] I just know the Batmobil – and the Steinmobil. No Playmobil. Nope.
MIHAEL: Oh forget it! You just look dumb!
RICHARD: Fuck you!
MIHAEL: o_O
TINE: Richard, that’s totally unreasonable. You cannot keep your hair like this…
RICHARD: Why not?
CARON: Exactly!! WHY NOT!!!!!????
~the girls spin around to face Caron, who is holding a spoon like a weapon~
CARON: BEWARE!!!
SASHA ~laughing~: You gonna fight us with a spoon? Haha!
MIHAEL: Oh, it can be dangerous. Haven’t you seen Robin Hood with Kevin Costner and Alan Rickman?
SASHA: Er…no. Just the last one.
MIHAEL ~teacher-style, a finger raised~: Well, you can actually pop out eyes with a spoon. Horrible to watch but really efficient.
JACKIE: Pop out…eyes??? Oh God!….
TINE: Mihael? You’re disgusting!
MIHAEL: Sorry… That’s just what Alan Rickman says in the movie you know…oh! He’s so sexy when he says that by the way (wub)…
TINE: Same.
~Sasha, who is standing next to the chatty girls and rolling her eyes, finally takes her flamethrower and turns Caron into ashes without warning~
RICHARD ~gasping~: But…
JACKIE: You did it faster than Mihael with Maria. Congrats Sasha!
SASHA: Gracias, gracias. It’s just about skills and training, you know.
MIHAEL: I’m jealous now.
TINE ~patting Mihael’s shoulder~: That’s Okay. You’ll have another moment of glory.
MIHAEL: Yeah, that’s right.
RICHARD ~still gasping~: …But…
~the girls turn around again to face Richard who just let his piece of strawberry cake fall onto the floor.~
RICHARD: …You…killed…her…
SASHA: Yep! Now you come with us! We gotta fix your hair.