Funny interview - 1

At the radio, for the promo of R+ new album…
“A fan is right now on the phone and wanna ask you an important question. C’mon, boy, go ahead!”
THE BOY: Hi…I… I’m standing on top of a building and I wanna kill myself… What… What must I do?
OLIVER: ~ frowns ~
TILL: Spring!
SCHNEIDER: Oh! Mein Gott!
RICHARD: ~ gapes ~
PAUL: Hee-hee-hee-hee... Ja, Till, das ist eine sehr gute Idee. Spring! (yeah, Till, that’s a very good idea. Jump!)
SCHNEIDER: Was?!?!?
PAUL: Was „was?“! Er hat gesagt, dass er sterben will... Also muss er springen!! (He said he wants to die... so he must jump!)
RICHARD: No, no, no... Hey, boy! Listen to me: don’t move, OK?
TILL: SPRING!
RICHARD: NEIN! Bist du bescheuert? (Are you crazy?) Hey, boy! What’s his name, by the way? Oh! Never mind! Don’t jump, OK? Please, boy, DO NOT JUMP!!!
SCHNEIDER: Rrrright! Listen: sink about your family, your frrriends – if you do zat, if you kill yourself, zey will be verrry sad, you know…
FLAKE: ~ sighs and opens a book ~
PAUL: Hey! Tell me, how iz it like, ze landscape?
THE BOY: Er… well, they are many people watching… and they are many lights…
PAUL: Lights? You took drrrugs?
THE BOY: Well, er… Yeah, I think I took some LSD…
PAUL: Hey! But don’t kill yourrrself! Give me some before!!!
OLIVER: Drrrugs are bad.
TILL: Ah ja?
OLIVER: Ich glaube ja – ich hab’ sie nie nehmen. (I think so – I never took them)
TILL: Ha! Also kannst du nicht verstehen!!! (So you can’t understand)
FLAKE: ~ sighs again ~
SCHNEIDER: ~ frowns at Till ~ Hoi!… Boy, listen – what’s your name?
THE BOY: Bob.
SCHNEIDER: OK, Bob. Listen: I’m surrre you don’t want to do zat, rrrright? You don’t want to kill yourself.
BOB: Well, actually, I do.
SCHNEIDER: NO! YOU DON’T!!!
RICHARD: Denkst du, dass es ihm helfen wird? Pff! (D’you think that it can help him?)
SCHNEIDER: Fick dich!! (Fuck you!)
RICHARD: Ach! Scheiße!
FLAKE: ~ sighs loudly ~
OLIVER: Ich glaube, dass es besser ist, an Bob zu denk– (I think it’d be better to think about B–)
RICHARD: It’s always the same: since I made my Emigrate album, they always say: “Fuck you! It’s none of your business, we can do it by ourselves, we don’t need you anymore, you’re just here to play the guitar and you shut up, don’t try to be the queen, and blah-blah-blah!!!!…”
SCHNEIDER, TILL and PAUL: Ach! Scheiße!
RICHARD: But I’m gonna tell you something, Bob: I AM RAMMSTEIN! Without me, there’d be NO Rammstein, you listen? I am the one who did everything –
PAUL: Glaubst du, dass Bob dein Schreien braucht? (D’you think that Bob needs to hear you scream?)
RICHARD: ICH SCHREIE NICHT!!!! ICH SAG NUR DIE WAHRHEIT!!!! (I’m not screaming! I’m just telling the truth!) Ohne mich gibt es KEIN Rammstein!! (Without me, there’s NO Rammstein!) Aber ihr vergesst es immer! Ja! Ihr denkt, dass ich nichts bin. Aber ohne mich gibt es nichts! (But you always forget it! Yeah, you think that I’m nothing. But without me there’s nothing!)
TILL: Bla-bla-bla!
RICHARD: Pff! Das ist unglaublich! (It’s unbelievable!) Ihr denkt, dass ich Scheiße bin, aber... aber... (You think that I am shit but... but…) ~ starts crying ~
PAUL, SCHNEIDER, TILL and FLAKE: Pff!
OLIVER: Richard, du bist wichtig für uns, sehr wichtig – wein nicht bitte... (you are important for us, very important – don’t cry please...)
PAUL, SCHNEIDER, TILL and FLAKE: ~ sigh ~
RICHARD: Ja? Sicher? Oh, ich liebe euch!... ~ he takes Oliver in his arm ~
SCHNEIDER: Er… Bob?
PAUL: ~ frowns ~
SCHNEIDER: Bob?
THE PRESENTER: I think he jumped.
SCHNEIDER and OLIVER: Oh! Mein Gott!
PAUL: Oh! Nein! And the drugs!!
TILL: Gut! I don’t like stupid fans.
FLAKE: Ze lesser, ze better!