Funny interview - 2

Would you ever use plastic surgery?
SCHNEIDER: Oh! No, never – nicht mein Thema. (I’m not interested)
OLIVER: When I was young, I didn’t like to be so tall – but it was too complicated to be shorter… I just gave up ze idea and now I even sink it’s better to be tall. Paul always complains, you see, because zere are sings he can’t take at the supermarket but I can.
FLAKE: I sink zat if I used plastic surgerrry I would need to change all my body. But I don’t want to spend ze few years of my life in a hospital. So I don’t want to change.
TILL: Selb’ für mich. (Same for me)
PAUL: Well, I wanted to have more hair, you see – but I have been told zat zey use hair from your ass and put zem on your skull, and zat was very disgusting!! So I chose to keep my monk hair cut, you see, because I am ze only rock star wis zis hair cut, and zis is coool!
RICHARD: Er…uh… Well, I never say never, but… er… In the far future, why not? I mean, when I am 50, maybe I’d like to look like now – now science can do nearly everything, so let’s try it!
PAUL: Can I ask a question?
THE JOURNALIST: Er… Yes, of course!
PAUL: Do you consider Botox as plastic surgerrry?
THE JOURNALIST: Well, yeah!
PAUL: Ach!
RICHARD: Was?
PAUL: Ach! It’s strrrange because, when Richard comes from NYC, he always looks younger zan before…
THE OTHERS (except Richard) ~ laugh ~
RICHARD: Ach, Scheiße! OK, I may have tried Botox once or twice, but c’mon! Who didn’t? Even my daughter’s friends, who are not more than 25, use it very regularly! In America, everybody uses it anyway!
SCHNEIDER: Pff!
PAUL: Du fickst die Freudienen deiner Tochter?! (You fuck your daughter’s friends?!)
RICHARD: Was?!? Nein! Ich hab’ es nicht gesagt! (That’s not what I said)
PAUL: Ha?…
TILL: Pff! In Amerika ist jeder bescheuert! (In America everybody is crazy)
RICHARD: Ja, klar! Dort gibt es zu viele Extreme... (Everything is exaggerated over there) Hab’ ich dir gesagt? Die Flaschen, die fünf Liter – (Did I tell you about the bottles of 5 –)
THE OTHERS: JA!
RICHARD: Oh… Well, anyway, I’m not like Madonna or those celebrities who obviously use plastic surgery but refuse to talk about it. Even if I live in America and even if the others say I’m a bit Americanised, I’m German and I always say what I think! Yeah, I use Botox. Because when I do so, I look ten years younger and that’s cool when I go out in nightclubs and girls say that I look as if I still were in my 30s. ~ smiles proudly while the others sigh ~
SCHNEIDER: In Amerrrika is zere too much hypocrrrisy, I sink. For example: yesterday I saw Paris Hilton’s video, in which she says she supporrrts Obama. Pff! Do zey really sink zat zey can separate ze world between ze young and ze old, what is in and what is out of fash–
TILL: REIN!
THE OTHERS: RAUS! ~ laugh ~
SCHNEIDER: Seriously! In Amerrrika zey don’t accept change.
RICHARD: Botox is a cool invention though. Eternal youth, you see!
FLAKE: No. Eternal inertia.